


i'm gonna love you over and over again

by yugbamismyspiritanimal



Category: GOT7
Genre: Canon Compliant, EOY Seoul, Established Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, jackson wants to kiss mark's pain away, this is so soft and precious i cannot, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 19:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20278441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugbamismyspiritanimal/pseuds/yugbamismyspiritanimal
Summary: Mark pushes through day 3 of their EOY tour in Seoul after learning that his grandmother had passed away and his family leaves to head back to California. Jackson can see through the front Mark puts up and just wants to hold him until he feels better.





	i'm gonna love you over and over again

**Author's Note:**

> wow so sorry for all the sad. drabble request fill. for my favorite maknae.

* * *

As exhausting as preparing for tour was, there was no greater feeling for Mark than being on stage in front of his fans living the dream he never realized he had. He loved performing and being with his fans. He loved the feeling of standing on stage with his members, who had become an extension of his family by now. And he especially loved watching the love of his life share the stage with him.

Maybe it was because they were both foreigners that had given up the security of home to move to another country for an opportunity that was never guaranteed. Maybe it was because Jackson provided him the comfort of speaking the same language when he just couldn't quite get past the language barrier he had with most everyone else. Or maybe it was the balance that he provided him. Where Mark was quiet and reserved, Jackson was loud and welcoming. Where Mark shied away, Jackson put himself out there. It never mattered to Jackson though and Mark thinks that maybe that was the moment he knew he was in love with the loud boy from Hong Kong.

The first two days of their tour had been incredible. There were few places they enjoyed performing more than in their home stadium in Seoul. It was one of the few stops that each of their families made a point to be at together. Who would have thought that a group of seven boys, from seven different backgrounds, with seven different families, would have fit together so perfectly? They had each gained six other families in the process. But there was always something so special about it when Mark's parents were able to be there. Always the ones having to travel the farthest, there had no doubt been times where they were unable to make it to something in Korea. Mark understood and that only made the times that they were there that much more special to him.

After finally making it back to the dorm after the concert and dinner with their families, Mark was exhausted. He normally wouldn't pull the "I'm the oldest" card, but after leaving his all out on stage for the second night, he felt he'd earned the right to be able to shower first. None of the other boys seemed to mind, and it was less of a hassle now that not everyone was living in the dorm. It was just himself, Jaebeom, Jinyoung, and Yugyeom left at this point and the four had developed such a familiarity amongst themselves over the years, that Mark could pull that card from time to time and not worry about hurting anyone's feelings. Still, he made quick work of showering off because honestly, all he wanted was to curl up under his blanket and call it a day.

When he finally made his way to his room, he noticed he had a few missed calls from both his mom and his dad. His dad having been the last one to have called, he tried him first. He was expecting to be asked what time they were all meeting the next day or what the best place for late night take out was. Anything but what he was told when his dad finally picked up the phone.

~~~~

Mark woke up the next morning to the sound of Yugyeom pounding on his door.

"Hyunnnnng! Come on we're gonna be late, we gotta go!"

Mark jolted out of bed and rushed to get dressed. He was exhausted. He wasn't sure what time it was when he finally fell asleep last night, but he doesn't think it was very long ago. He gave himself a once over in his mirror and groaned. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he already knew that he'd get hell from everyone for how rough his voice was going to sound. He just had to make it through today. Just get through the show tonight and he'd have a couple of days off to just rest and not have to think about anything. He knew that he had to tell the boys. They'd all been through so much together and he would never want to keep something like this from them. So with a couple of dabs of his cologne, he swallowed down every tear that kept threatening to fall and put on his brave face before rushing out the door to meet the others.

"Sorry guys," he mumbled as he slipped his shoes on and hurried out the door to the van, missing the worried looks the others exchanged.

The ride to the company was silent. Uncomfortably so. Mark could feel the eyes on him and he wanted to say something. Just tell the three in the car with him and get it over with. But he knew that he had three others that he would have to tell again once they got to their practice room and he really just didn't have the energy for that. He already knew that Jackson was going to be upset with him for not calling him the night before to tell him. All eyes were on him as he made his way to set his things down in the practice room and he figured that one of the three he lived with must have text the other boys and alerted them to Mark's weird mood so far. He knew that he might as well just get it over with. He knew that they didn't know yet. Mark made sure to tell his dad to not say anything to anyone that could potentially relay it to the boys before he told them the next morning. Mark sighed as he turned around. Time to rip off the bandaid.

"I need to tell you guys something."

Suddenly, six pairs of eyes were on him and he could already feel the lump in his throat forming. He could feel the tears that were bubbling just below the surface when Yugyeom moved closer to him and grabbed his hand.

"Hyung? What is it? What's wrong?"

Mark let out a shaky breath before squeezing Yugyeom's hand for courage.

"My dad called me last night. After we all got home. I missed him the first few times because I was still in the shower."

The boys had given him their undivided attention and the reassuring nod from Jackson encouraged him to keep going.

"My uhh, my grandmother passed away. Tammy just got word to my parents last night about it. They're flying out today to go back to California."

Without hesitation, Yugyeom pulled him into the biggest hug possible. Mark melted in the comfort provided by his overgrown maknae and was thankful for the height difference. Slowly the other four boys made it over to him to hug him and ask if there was anything he needed. He made eye contact with Jackson while resting his chin over BamBam's shoulder. He couldn't tell if his boyfriend looked so sad because Mark was sad or if he was sad because he was just now finding out with everyone else. Jaebeom cleared his throat before Mark could answer himself. The leader insisting that Mark set out from practice today but Mark once again pulling the age card and assuring all of them that he was really okay and just wanted to keep things normal.

"Really guys, I'm okay. It sucks and it hurts, but I promise, I'm okay."

They didn't argue with him. Mark felt a little bit of relief at the fact that things were going to carry on like normal, but he didn't miss the look that Jackson was sending his way. He knew that a long conversation was in store for him as soon as practice was over.

~~~~

Jackson had cornered Mark as soon as practice was over and all but forced him to ride with him to the concert venue so they could talk. Mark wasn't surprised but he also wasn't sure what to tell Jackson. He was as okay as he could be and his main focus was simply on getting through the show. Then he would worry about the rest. But Jackson wanted to worry about the rest, right now.

"Jacks, seriously I'm okay."

"Hyung, why didn't you call me last night? I would have come over."

Mark looks over at his boyfriend and can see the circles under his eyes. He knows how much Jackson overworks himself all the time and has vowed to himself to never be a reason why the younger loses any more sleep than he has to.

"Because I was fine. Besides, you need the sleep, babe."

Jackson pouted at him before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Mark. You know you're more important to me than anything in this world. I would give up anything for you."

"Even that awful green tea?"

"Hyunnnng."

"I'm kidding. I'm fine, honest."

Mark jumped when Jackson slammed his hands on his steering wheel in frustration.

"You aren't though! Mark, I know you. I know you aren't as okay as what you want us to believe. And I get it. I get why you would hide that from the others right now. But from me? Hyung, we tell each other everything! No matter how hard it is. I just want to be there for you. I know you're hurting."

Mark sits in silence and wills himself to not start crying right there. He knows that Jackson is right, but he doesn't have the time right now to be sad. He has a show to do. When Jackson turns into the parking lot of the venue, Mark had never been more thankful for anything in his life. He all but jumped out of the car as soon as it was shut off and made his way towards their entrance, yelling back at Jackson once more that he was fine and to please just drop it.

Jackson dropped it. But Mark could feel the tension between the two of them as they sat around getting their hair and makeup done. Jinyoung asking him more than once if everything between the two of them was okay. Mark just smiled and assured his best friend that everything was fine. He knew that none of them believed him, but the only thing on his mind was to just get through this show.

~~~~~

Mark had always been teased about being the guaranteed one to cry during their ending ments at their shows. He didn't mind it though. He wasn't ashamed of crying in front of his members or his fans. But there was something about tonight that was different. Maybe it was the weight of everything finally catching up with him. Or maybe it was that damn instrumental of Thank You playing as they all spoke. That could move anyone to tears, he thinks. But when it's his turn to tell the fans how much he loves them and how thankful he his for their love and support, that wall that he had worked so hard the past 20 hours to build, came crumbling down as he told the fans about his grandmother and that despite being so far away from home and from his family, that he's never once regretted his decision to move to Korea. His members surrounded him as the fans cheered him on that it was okay. Mark met eyes with Jackson and mouthed "you were right" at him before turning back and wiping his face and telling the crowd that he loved them.

The show wrapped up a short while later and Mark sank down into the couch. He was exhausted. He was sad. He wished that he was on a plane back to California. He also knew that he owed Jackson an apology. The younger seemingly avoiding him ever since they came backstage. He knew that he'd hurt Jackson's feelings. Not only by not calling him last night but by lying to him on the way to the venue. He did, however, appreciate that Jackson wasn't making it obvious. Once the seven of them had finally either showered or just changed into more comfortable clothes, they slowly filed out to the parking garage. Some of them hopping in their own cars with each other, others opting to have their manager drive them home in one of the company cars. Mark silently walked behind Jackson and followed his boyfriend to his car and got in. He knew that it surprised Jackson, but the younger didn't comment on it. He rolled down his window as Jinyoung turned to look at them and waved goodbye. Jinyoung held up his hand signalling him to call him later and Mark simply smiled and nodded as he rolled the window back up.

The ride to Jackson's apartment was quiet. The only words being spoken consisting of asking the other what sounded good to order once they got there. Jackson pulled into his parking garage and hopped out and headed to the door before Mark had even unbuckled. He didn't blame him though. He'd done the same to Jackson earlier today after all. Mark grabbed his bag and headed inside and heard the shower already running. So much for things not being awkward he thought. He slipped his shoes off and made his way to Jackson's bedroom and sat down on the bed. He had a few texts from his sister and brother that he responded to before opening up his sns to see a flood of comments and well wishes to him and his family. He stumbled across his dad's tweet and suddenly all the tears that he had tried to hold in, came flowing down his cheeks relentlessly. He tossed his phone aside and fisted his hands into the material of his baggy sweats and bit his lip to try and keep his sobs quiet when he heard the shower turn off.

A few moments later, he heard the sound of the bathroom light flicking off and turned to look at Jackson, who froze on the spot when he saw Mark's tear stained face.

"J-jacks," Mark choked out between sobs.

Jackson dropped the clothes he'd carried out with him and immediately hurried over to Mark. Mark let himself be pulled into a bone crushing hug as he wrapped his arms around Jackson and held on to him like a lifeline. He sobbed as Jackson rocked him back and forth, his hands rubbing up and down his back to soothe him. He sobbed as Jackson pulled away and cupped his face, wiping the tears away, even though they kept falling. Mark grabs onto Jackson's wrists to ground himself before letting out a shaky breath.

"I'm s-sorry that I didn't c-call you last n-n-night," he manages to choke out.

"I'm s-sorry that I w-worried you."

Jackson wiped the new tears before cupping Mark's face.

"Hey hey, shh, it's okay baby. You aren't okay are you?"

Mark just shook his head 'no' as he buried his face into Jackson's chest. Jackson rubbed circles in his lower back before pulling back to rest their foreheads together.

"Whatever you need hyung. I'm always here. I'm always gonna love you through it all."

He leans in and connects their lips in the softest kiss. Mark melts into the touch as Jackson strokes the skin behind his ear. He lets Jackson nibble on his bottom lip for a moment before pulling back.

"I love you so much Jackson."

Mark pulls him in for another kiss. This one needier than the first, but still slow. He feels Jackson's tongue sweep across his bottom lip and grants him access and tilts his head to allow the kiss to deepen. He brings his hand up to Jackson's neck and tugs at the short strands of hair before kissing down Jackson's jaw and to his collarbones, placing open mouth kisses along the expanse. Jackson grabs Mark's face and brings it back up to his as they kiss again, this time slowly laying down facing each other. They let their tongues lazily dance with each other before they pull away to catch their breaths and Mark tucking himself up under Jackson's chin. Jackson wraps his arms around the elder and kisses his temple. Mark sighs at the feeling of finally feeling relaxed. His heart still hurts and he knows it will for some time, but in Jackson's arms like this, he feels safe. He hears Jackson’s breathing start to even out and knows that if he doesn’t say this now, he’ll chicken out by morning. 

“Gaga?”

Jackson hums in response. 

“Thank you.”

”For what?”

”Loving me the way you do. For always bringing me back.”

Jackson tightens his hold around Mark’s waist and leans down to kiss him one more time before falling asleep. 

Mark knows that the younger is asleep, but doesn’t let that stop him from whispering one more thing to him before he closes his eyes. 

“My Gaga.”


End file.
